Louisa is one of my best friends; unfortunately, she decided it’d be a good idea to go to university. Yeah, okay, she’ll get an education, but she’s SO much further away now! So, Keya and I decided that it’d be a really good idea to go to London and visit her. And it was.
We left on Friday, after we’d both finished work, got some beers and got on the train. We sat down at a table, only for some really posh, pompous, stuck up woman and her husband to join us. She actually ended up being alright and joined in on our game on 20 Questions (probably not voluntarily though, more because Keya was essentially forcing her to join in).
After 2 hours and 40 minutes, we finally arrived in London Waterloo, and navigated our way round to the correct station to get on yet another train that’d take us to the station where Louisa and her new best friend, Dermite, would be meeting us.
This would be the first time that Keya and I would be meeting Dermite. He’s Irish and likes Regina Spektor almost as much as I do (okay, not almost, but he likes her a lot), which instantly made me like him. This illusion was not spoiled when I actually met him.
Regardless, we got to the station, and as soon as Louisa saw us, she screamed and ran towards us. Keya jumped on Louisa and they ended up on the floor, one on top of the other, almost hysterically crying, and Dermite (or Malarky O’Leary, as I so kindly renamed him) and I greeted each other like adults. We were all super excited for seeing each other.
We got on a bus and went to Louisa’s flat. On the way, we bumped into a few of her friends, who would then end up joining us for pre-drinks in Louisa’s room. We got into her room, dumped our stuff and carried on drinking and getting ready for going to the student bar. Keya, promptly threatened Louisa’s flatmate for “making her cry”, and after that, we set off to go.
We got in, got our drinks and went outside for a cigarette. Dermite, got almost immediately pounced at by some young ragamuffin, who looked like a junkie slut, and she was all ‘in his face’ about this douchebag Josh. What was the exact problem, I’m not really sure, because I spent most of the time turning his friends against him rather than listening to what they were saying. I do, however, remember a girl asking Dermite if he was okay, and whether or not he liked her dress. He said it was lovely, and when she went he muttered “she’s a tramp” to me. We promptly renamed her ‘Trampy Jade’ and avoided her like the plague.
We got MORE drinks in, and were already pretty drunk. Bad Romance came on, so Keya and I danced, but it was on for literally about 30 seconds! We were OUTRAGED! I wanted to get my GaGa on! My thoughts of disappointment were soon dissolved by stroking this girls coat because it, in my drunken state, ‘felt like a bear’.
We ended up back outside, and, as Keya and Dermite were kissing each other, I decided to talk to some guys that were stood by. I asked what they were doing at uni, and they said they were doing engineering. They then asked what I was doing, and, instead of telling the truth, I said that I was doing “a degree in Psychology” and made up some bullshit reason as to why I was doing it.
Trampy Jade and I kissed, Trampy Jade, Keya and Dermite had a three-way kiss and we all left substantially drunk. Louisa, at this point, was back in her flat after canoodling with Colin.
We went to sleep, but then a short while later I awoke to the most horrible, repetitive shrieking noise! I attempted to block it out with my pillow over my head, but the fire alarm was far too loud to even attempt to be ignored. We wandered outside like zombies along with the rest of the people from the nearby flats. Louisa, with her duvet, curled up into a ball on the floor. Keya joined her. In MY sleeping bag! Now, if the fact that he was rubbing my sleeping bag against the ground, he was also completely NAKED. Gross, right? We trundled back to sleep after the alarm of death finally was silenced.
In the morning, after we were all ready, we decided to go into central London. After a delightful breakfast at McDonald’s we went to somewhere in London, where there was a ‘Big African Weekender’. As we were glancing around, we noticed lots of posters and people gathered round looking at some sort of protest. John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ was playing, and Keya and I put our arms around each other and sang. We realised that it was about the injustice of the Iranian governments views on homosexuality, and how people get hanged, stoned to death and ostracised, simply for being something they cannot control. Whilst looking at signs saying “her only crime was love” next to pictures of people being publically executed, I felt myself get to the point where it took a lot for me to draw back my tears. I’ve never been so moved by anything so quickly in my life.
We carried on traipsing round London, went through Chinatown, were there were lots of delightful whole cooked ducks hanging in the windows, then made our way to Soho. On our attempt to find G.A.Y, we passed a ‘Peep Show’ for £2. We were all plucking up the courage to go in, but then the woman in the next place wanted us in her whorehouse to see a live show, have drinks and stuff for ‘only’ £20. In all fairness, she said entrance alone was usually £50, but we’re poor! Two students, an unemployed bum and Keya, who spends the majority of his money of alcohol! We said we’d “think about it” and went off to G.A.Y. There was an immediate transition between London, and the gay part of London. There were SO many bears outside all the cafés, drinking coffee and Louisa and I definitely saw Brüno.
We went to G.A.Y, had a drink and then went back to Louisa’s, after stopping off to get more alcohol and some food. Apparently, I’m not as young as I used to be because I couldn’t even get through half a can of beer that evening as I was still hungover, sleep deprived and feeling sick. Keya and I, unfortunately, had to leave, and it sucked. We then went to get our train, and for some stupid reason, I got a coffee to drink on the train and didn’t sleep at all, unlike Keya, who looked like a homeless guy with his chavvy hoodie on. I went home, showered and slept until I had work, then I slept lots after work.
It was an amazing trip, and I miss Louisa so much. I’m really glad she’s made such an amazing friend (Dermite), and that she’s having such a good time. I just have no idea how she has the stamina to drink every night AND attend lectures!
