Hello 2011, nice to see you.

So, another year has passed, and I’ve still yet to accomplish anything of worth in my life. This might have something to do with being the laziest sod on the planet and being unemployed for the best part of 4 months. However, 2011 is gonna be a whole ‘nother story...

            I’m usually one of those cynics who thinks that New Year’s resolutions are a load of bullshit, as, realistically, the goals are too high and what difference is this one day gonna make? So, usually, I don’t make them. This year, I’m not making so resolutions as such, I just really need to get a fucking job and motivation and stuff ASAP, so, that’s what I’m gonna do.

            Basically, I need to save up money, that’s the only reason I want or need a job. I wanna go to New York to see Beauty, the musical Regina Spektor wrote the music for. I wanna go to Dinah Shore when I’m 21, because I’m a gigantic lesbian. I want to go and do a skiing season in France sometime soon. They’re just the big things that I want in the next few years. I also will need to move out of my parents place at some point in my life, because, I ain’t gonna lie, my room right now is no ‘pussy magnet’.

            I hate how things I want cost loads of money, but that’s the way the world is, so I’ve gotta either keep up or fall behind.

            In other news, my NYE was awesome. Keya got ridiculously drunk, to the point of throwing up, we danced, I got my boob slapped by a 35 year old who kept eyeing me up, a man nearly got his naked penis kicked and some lesbians started arguing! So, all in all, yeah, it was a pretty good night.

            I can’t wait for this year to turn out awesome. Even if I don’t do what I wanna do, I still know that it’s going to be a great year, because of the amazing people in my life. You should really be jealous that Keya, Louisa, David, Laura and Brodie aren’t your best friends and that you don’t have the best 6 year old little sister in the world. Like, seriously, envy me. I would if I were you.

            I’m ending this here, and I’m gonna try and do short blog-y updates more frequently, because, let’s face it, nothing that interesting happens to me anymore, so long blogs would be pointless!

Happy 2011, hoes!

Also, remember I’m on YouTube and go and subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/user/Dykadellic/

Boring life = boring blog.

So, hey, you know how I haven’t blogged in ages? Well, there are several reasons for that. Firstly, it’s because I haven’t found the motivation to do so. Seriously, motivation is hard to come by when you do nothing all day! Secondly, well, I do nothing with my life so nothing actually happens. And thirdly, I’ve started vlogging. (Please subscribe to my YouTube channel: http://YouTube.com/user/Dykadellic/) I started because my LBF (lesbian best friend) told me that I should audition for the Baby Beaver Bunch on YouTube, so, I did. Then I made another video, and I’ll probably carry it on. I’ll probably still blog, but it’ll be very occasionally. Or I’ll just do short updates, ‘cause I’m cool like that, and writing this has made me realise how much I actually enjoy typing about myself. If vanity’s a sin, baby, I’m Satan.

                Anyway, I’ll post a link to my video below, but for now, you’re being forced to read about my boring life. It’s boring. That’s basically it. Apart from the LBF came back from uni over the weekend and we went out clubbing and I got so drunk I fell onto the floor, lost her and David and stole a coat. Oops. She’s also dropping out of uni because it’s shit, which means, I get to spend more time with her! I’m definitely super excited for that. Also, my dear Louisa and Dermot are coming down this weekend and the weekend after and we’re going out, and that’s going to be amazing.

                I still don’t have a job. I’ve kinda given up looking. But I am having a meeting with some LGBT woman on Friday, so fingers crossed, eh?

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WNSWycM554 

I was gonna put the actual video on here, but I legitimately have no fucking idea how to do this. 

Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)

There’s been a powercut! What am I thinking right now? What the hell do I do?!

Literally, I was watching Family Guy, on Twitter, on Facebook, and then *BOOM* darkness. Everything cuts out and a car alarm goes off (which is still going, by the way…) and I’m left here, sat in total darkness, bar the glare from my iPod Touch. So, since I’m already on Facebook, I thought, why not update my status about the powercut. I try posting it, but it tells me I have no internet connection. Duh! There’s no electricity. After realising I have no internet, I’m wondering what to do. I go into the utility room and grab some candles, light them, and sit back in the lounge contemplating the activities I’ll be doing in the next couple of hours.

            I can’t play Guitar Hero because there’s no power. I can’t watch a DVD because my laptop will die halfway through. Most of the fun apps on my iPod Touch revolve around the internet. So, currently, I’m blogging about how my life needs modern technology for me to exist.

            Quite literally, the only things I can think to do is things that involve computerised equipment. Okay, I am thinking one other thing; are the streetlights still on? I presume they would be. But that’s something I can Google. The only thing I can think to do is sit here and blog, or go out for a cigarette. I’ll do the latter after I’ve finished this.

            This is the worst blog ever, mainly because I haven’t blogged in fo’evah so I’m ramming something into you quick, and I don’t want my battery to give up before I’m finished.

            Anyway, since I’m writing in the dim glow of the candle light and the bright glare of ol’ lappy with NO ELECTRICITY, I shall update you on my life.

            Let’s see… The only thing I can think of is I have a LBF (lesbian best friend) and she is AWESOME! Her name is Laura and she makes YouTube videos and stuff (http://youtube.com/user/lauraclaireful/) she also is in the Baby Beaver Bunch, so you should check that shit out too (http://youtube.com/user/babybeaverbunch/). Yeah, she lives so close to me it’s unreal, like, a 5 minute walk. We like to get drunk together. Well, me more so than her.

            And since this is most definitely the worst blog ever, I shall disappoint you no longer. Adios amigos. Until next time…

PS. I started watching D.E.B.S. on my iPod Touch which is an AMAZING film, and then the power came back on (and the friggin’ car alarm!) which kinda sucks… I think I’ll just go to bed and finish watching it. My life is awesome.

As promised, a post exam update.

So, it’s official, I’m out of education, possibly forever, I don’t quite know yet… Also, I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in like 400 years, but I’ve been busy procrastinating, and that takes a lot of time and effort!

            A lot’s changed since the last time I’ve blogged, mainly for the better, rather than the worse. I’ve finished all my exams, I’ve got a full time job at work, and I’ve got so much planned for the summer!

I can’t quite remember whether or not I told you about it, but my plan was, in September, to go to Brunel University and study English Language and Creative Writing. It’s an amazing uni, and writing is something I’m interested in. However, I may have accidently completely and utterly failed my coursework because I spent the majority of my English lessons at the back of the room killing hookers, stealing cars and shooting cops playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on my laptop, meaning I couldn’t, regardless of how well the exam went, get the desired grades to get into uni. The exam went pretty shit anyway though. On a good exam note though, my Drama exam went alright, and my Media went great!

So, back to more stuff you don’t care about. As I said, I failed English, so I was all like ‘Oh, shit… I guess I’ll take a gap year and retake…?’, but something even better has happened! I’ve found my calling! My dream job! LGBT youth work! Basically, as I was doing my GAYly research, I found a Dorset based project called Space, which is for 15-19 year olds who identify as LGBTQ and want a space to feel comfortable. So, I had the ingenious idea of going along and asking about volunteering. Keya, who was also interested, came with me. It’s only been our second week but it’s gone really well. Now, I just need to sort out whether I really wanna do it or not and then probably go back to college to get some sort of qualification…

In other gay news, (which I know is the one and only reason you’re reading this, to find out more about my homoerotic, lesbonic, dykadellic life) I’ve created a really gay Facebook group! In a month it got around 190,000+ members, and with your help, all 3 of you who read this because I force you too, we can make it more, yes? It’s called Homosexuality is NOT a choice, but homophobia is, so join it, please? I will also be producing merchandise, like t-shirts, stickers, badges, and other stuff like that, when I get off my arse and actually bother. So, in about a year…?

Here’s the link: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Homosexuality-is-NOT-a-choice-but-homophobia-is/120303671335924?ref=ts

I’m pretty sure that’s it. I’ve just been failing and being really, really gay. OH, speaking of gay! Over summer, I’m (hopefully) going to THREE pride festivals! Hell yeah! The first one being my birthGAY one in Bournemouth, which, if you can, you should attend. The second being Brighton Pride, and the third being Manchester. Also, over summer, I’m seeing Regina Spektor. AGAIN! That pretty much sums up my summer… More gaying!

I should probably try and be a little more hetero, but CBA.

Peace xoxo HUGZ ‘N’ KIZZEZ <3<3 Mwah <3<3 xoxoxox Luff yhoo all <3333

I can't think of a good name, but it's only an update.

Before you say it, I am well aware that I haven’t blogged in ages! And I must admit that this is barely enough to suffice the lack of writing, but I am under the impression I owe it to you guys. So, here is your update.
I have recently joined a gym! By recently, I mean two days ago, and I love it so far! Yes, I have only been for two days, but it’s been great! And I’m planning on going again today! It’s actually a really nice gym, and after my workout (usually with David) I go swimming and into the sauna and Jacuzzi! It’s great! Some of the machines have TV’s in them, so I can watch The Simpsons or Friends whilst working out. There’s loads of different equipment, and there are some fine girls there! The only traumatising part is the changing… There are women getting naked around me, which, doesn’t sound that bad, until I realise they’re about 40 and saggy and hairy and I have no idea where to look!!
I’ve also just spent about an hour on my hair (by an hour, I mean about 20 minutes) because it’s my Grandma’s birthday today, and she’s coming round, with several of her friends, and although she won’t care what I look like because she loves me regardless, the camera, however, would not be so sympathetic!
Work is changing. For some stupid reason, they’ve let the fat, ginger Northern Mormon who works in the week work on Saturdays (not Sundays as well, thank God, someone has church!) which means all the civic temps (as in, my job) have to take a Saturday off work a month, regardless if they want that holiday or not. I’m sorry, but how fucking ridiculous is that?! Okay, it’s £30 a month, but that’s my gym membership, that’s money I need to pay off my debts from fixing my bike, that’s money I need to save up to go to uni, all fucking gone because some fat bitch decided it’d be fun to screw around with my life and take my fucking shifts! My supervisor (the one I really like and get along with) tried to justify it by saying that we all usually take a day off once a month anyway. I don’t! I hardly ever take holiday! So, I looked at her and said ‘This is shit.’ And she totally agreed with me.
Back to the fatty. Okay, there really isn’t that many people in my life that I do not like straight away, I think there has been one other, and she is one of them. I’m not sure what it is about her that I cannot stand, but there’s something! I spent 20 minutes totally slagging her off to my supervisor, and she was just laughing away, agreeing with me. No one else likes her. I’m not sure what it is, but she really makes me want to… Stab her in the face, or something! I know it sounds like I’m overreacting, and I probably am, but I just can’t stand her!
I’ve also started a Facebook fan page, and if you’re not already a fan, you can become one here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dykadellic/253069378033?v=wall&ref=ts and you can also get me on Twitter http://twitter.com/Dykadellic.
And that is my disjointed, unimpressive update!